i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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