If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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