Yo dont text me then not text me
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
