Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize