my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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