Do you still have your period?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
