Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.