Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.

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  (405): We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed. http://tfl.nu/cgfh
  Replies (40) Good night (6455) Bad night (637)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?

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  (303): woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night? http://tfl.nu/lo5l
  Replies (19) Good night (5286) Bad night (1052)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.

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  (609): She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good. http://tfl.nu/1igy
  Replies (113) Good night (1906) Bad night (11155)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.

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  (518): Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help. http://tfl.nu/q9on
  Replies (39) Good night (849) Bad night (9240)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins

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  (231): Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins http://tfl.nu/vh4d
  Replies (10) Good night (1662) Bad night (3224)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.

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  (404): I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play. http://tfl.nu/jglo
  Replies (11) Good night (1169) Bad night (4243)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.

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  (+44): Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS. http://tfl.nu/15we
  Replies (16) Good night (1745) Bad night (3494)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week

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  (732): hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week http://tfl.nu/ig19
  Replies (9) Good night (3152) Bad night (999)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.

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  (813): Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant. http://tfl.nu/yfmm
  Replies (7) Good night (1421) Bad night (909)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!

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  (678): I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE! http://tfl.nu/ve9p
  Replies (9) Good night (2964) Bad night (907)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.

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  (404): I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks. http://tfl.nu/r45q
  Replies (20) Good night (3791) Bad night (1018)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.

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  (479): Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical. http://tfl.nu/g3fg
  Replies (1) Good night (824) Bad night (468)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better

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  (816): sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better http://tfl.nu/09bw
  Replies (4) Good night (426) Bad night (970)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp

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  (954): I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp http://tfl.nu/qcef
  Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (380)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.

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  (971): Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor. http://tfl.nu/pagf
  Replies (1) Good night (905) Bad night (380)

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