Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.

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(206): View more from Washington

i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.

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(518): View more from New York

I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.

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(503): View more from Oregon

He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.

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(516): View more from New York

i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD

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(716): View more from New York

I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...

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