Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you. http://tfl.nu/mcnp
  Replies (68) Good night (2140) Bad night (11490)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead. http://tfl.nu/kxwf
  Replies (15) Good night (2771) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh! http://tfl.nu/nhcn
  Replies (43) Good night (5002) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now. http://tfl.nu/zv6d
  Replies (6) Good night (5769) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public. http://tfl.nu/lwyj
  Replies (16) Good night (1439) Bad night (3556)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved http://tfl.nu/ox8t
  Replies (7) Good night (1017) Bad night (2349)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands. http://tfl.nu/svno
  Replies (16) Good night (3380) Bad night (1369)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts. http://tfl.nu/g61c
  Replies (8) Good night (955) Bad night (3390)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested. http://tfl.nu/exbc
  Replies (7) Good night (2234) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand. http://tfl.nu/tiko
  Replies (2) Good night (767) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw http://tfl.nu/sktq
  Replies (5) Good night (1075) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably. http://tfl.nu/2r5e
  Replies (11) Good night (1374) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre. http://tfl.nu/eizk
  Replies (4) Good night (659) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories. http://tfl.nu/op72
  Replies (6) Good night (2032) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat? http://tfl.nu/25mc
  Replies (6) Good night (311) Bad night (793)

Randomize