Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

fuck the hobbit

(301): View more from Maryland

what about unicorns?

(732): View more from New Jersey

fuck those pointy horses

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(954): View more from Florida

I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.

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(440): View more from Ohio

he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously

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(707): View more from California

I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore

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(214): View more from Texas

He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.

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(817): View more from Texas

Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?

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(716): View more from New York

Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house

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