Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

So how was last night?

(1-310): View more from California

Let's just say I danced with the devil

(310): View more from California

Huh?

(1-310): View more from California

I'm going to Hell for sure

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.

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(806): View more from Texas

Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(440): View more from Ohio

We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.

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(530): View more from California

There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.

(712): View more from Iowa

What's an angry pirate?

(702): View more from Nevada

You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with

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