Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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