i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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