her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
