what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
