Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
