dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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