never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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