they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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