somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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