I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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