that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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