You just made me feel so damn special
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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