That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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