He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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