naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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