Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
