I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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