i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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