you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
