I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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