need another drink. this is the easiest way
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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