Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
