oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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