is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
