who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
