it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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