big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
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Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
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UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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