Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
