I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize