There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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