You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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