Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
