My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize