I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
