Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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