u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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