I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
