I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
