New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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