I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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