my sisters under your porch take her home
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
