Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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