ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
