It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
