I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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