I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
