He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
