it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
