i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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