I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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