Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
