hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
