Me. At least after what I've been through.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
