Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
