you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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